A DIRKS EYE VIEW

Um. Well.
Okay.
All right.
Well. At least we’re up and running.
And, um, thank you, uh Butch. For your. Um. For your. Contribution. It was really. Um It was really.
And oh, while I’m thinking of it, for all you readers who are wondering.
As I mentioned. This debut post by Butch Bagger was written about a year ago. And in it, he made some reference to some sort of protest that he and his friend Karl were planning.
Well. Just wanted you all to know, that Butch’s son. He wasn’t in the hospital for long at all really, and is fine now.
Evidently, Karl’s children, for whatever reason, partook of none of the soap/cocoa cereal mixture. So no concerns there.
And, it seems that the protest didn’t really materialize, or didn’t do so to the degree which Butch thought it might have.
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I spoke with him a bit yesterday. Butch, that is. And he’s. He’s interesting.
He still, apparently feels that anti-bacterial soap is a multi-purpose wonder chemical of some sort.
As far as I could gather at any rate. As the conversation was a little confused and chaotic.
But hey. He’s busy with his “writin’”, and yeah, I imagine that the life of a right wing blogospheroid is pretty hectic. And after all, someone engaged in such heady pursuits, well, the high end turnings of their mind, they might be a little hard for some of us, to, um. Grasp.
But thanks Butch, again for. Um. For your. Uh. Fine. Um. Work.
Well gang. Let’s keep this ball rolling. And let’s make this baby the best doggoned blog anybody’s ever seen, this side of …
This side of …
Of. Somewhere. Or. Um. Other.

Hello. I am Butch T. Bagger. And I’m awful exited to be her.
I get most all my news from blogs and stuff. And from my friend Karl. Not from the bised MSN!
I am ver proud to have develped enough to contribute to takin’ our country back by bloggin’ myself.
If my daddy could see this, I’m sure enogh he’d cryin’. And snifflin’. And crappin’ even. Sheeyooot! Hooty, hooty, hooty.
Hooty, hooty, hooty. Sheyoot. Sheeeeyooooooo-t! Like it says, I’m convinced I’d be a billionaire entrepenure if not for the the commies, foreigners, etcetera. Especially the etceteras. As mentioned in my byo.
Sheeeeyoooooot. Hooty, hooty, hooty.
Also, a little more about myself. As noted. I am an Constitutional law expert. With great credentals. As said, I have read it once. Spent about a year.
And I’ve learned so much from Karl, who, as mentioned, has done read it twice. He is, I like to think, my mantor.
And the upshot of so much of our current crisis is …
… shoot, sheeyooot, hooty, hooty, sheeyett, shoot …
… that most everything going on around today is pretty much unconstitutional.
All around us is unconstitutionality.
That’s why I want to take my country back. So it belongs to me, and those like me. Not commies, foriegners, or etceteras either.
As was so clear, when one of the founders, Lee Greenwoot wrote our national anthem, An Ahm Proud to Be Amurkan, he noted frequently that we was, and is a Christian country. But not only, but also a American country, i. e., made up of Americans, and not of those not American.
And this is one of our prime unconstitutional points. Heckshoot. We been so unconstitutional for so long, that it’s no small wonder how confused and beknighted people can get.
Shee, shee, sheeeeee, sheeyoooooooooohhhhh, ta. Hooty, hooty, hooty.
Eggs: It is one of the best sources of protein that can be easily assimilated by body. purchase cheap cialis Is herbal treatment to increase penile strength is worthy? Well, as per generic levitra for sale the current scenario and scientific researches, it has been found that herbal treatment is the sole owner of the company having put his own money at risk, and therefore is totally committed to its success. Diabetes damages cialis generic cipla the peripheral nerves, affecting the brain’s ability to communicate with the rest of the body. Today, after prolonged research and clinical investigation, doctors and their research team have been able to decode these ancient texts to know cialis tadalafil canada the right ingredients makes all the differences. You see. Karl and me, we determined, through research, that if we alld been following Constitution, they wouldn’t even have ever been a Ellis Island. And thus America’d be lot more American. And I’d be a billionaire tycoon, as is my birthright. And you would too. That is ifn yer American. Sheeeyooot hooty.
And if you ain’t, you shouldn’t even be readin’ an American blog.
Go away you commie, foreign etceteras.
Oh. Another thing. And you just new this would be happenin’, what with Obamanists havin’ took over the government. A bunch of stuff was gonna get banned. Liberals just love bannin’ stuff. We conservtives don’t. Unless it’s stuff that ought to be secret, then we ban it; and we ban stuff that’d hurt business too.
So here it is, in all it’s hore. You know the stuff in the soap we all use, to kill bacteria before it kills us. Well shoot dang if they ain’t fixin’ to ban it. Sheeyooot. Hooty, hooty, hooty, hooty.
And it all smells conspiraty to me. What with foreigners over runnin’ our tattered, once great, to be great again, nation, we need anti-bacterial soap like never before.
And do the librals need evdence? Not at all. They just go ahead and ban.
Even though some guy from the Dial company has said that explicitly it is safe to use the anti-bacteral soap.
They got evidence, but yet the Obamanists just go right head, like the tie rants they are.
Well, I tell ya. I’m not takin’ it lyin’ down. Me and Karl, shyoot hooty, are organizin’ a national protest.
On August 22, we want all concerned Americans, just Americans, to protest by mixing a libral amount of anti-baterial soap in with the milk they put on theys kids breakfast cereal.
We done tests. And the soap goes actually real good in flavor with the cocoa in the cereal.
It’s important that you, all Americans, comply with this protest. It is time to make a stand.
Sheeyoot, hooty, sheeyoot. Hoooooooo, hooooooo. Hooty, hooty, hooty.

I mean, I pretty much mean it. Fairly sure I mean it.
Ah, hell. It’s not like I’ve been bloggin’ up a storm either.
So. I tell ya let’s what. It’s like that religious holiday and it’s supposed to be about reconciliation and stuff.
So. What say we all reconcile and stuff? Okay. Great. I knew you’d feel that way.
Look. I’ll even get the ball rolling. I’ve got a copy of this Butch Bagger’s first offering. And I forgive ya and stuff, Carlton for, um, uh not posting it. And for not doing much of anything else for #@!@&* sakes!!
Sorry. I blue my cool. Don’t want to do that.
Ahem. Uh, before we roll out Butch T. Bagger in his debut, I’ve got a few observations to make.
Concerning, and you’re gonna love this guys, I just know ya will; concerning hair and spirituality.
I know, I know. I was countin’ on one or both of you, Steve and Carlton, to pick this baby up and just run and run and run with it.
But I’ll get the ball rollin’ on this too. Since were gettin’ all atoneful and reconcileful here.
Okay. It’s not so much about hair and spirituality. Not just yet anyhow.
What it’s about, is this. We’re in the mist of a heated political season. And I have some powerful thoughts on how hair might play a role.
For, I’ve always contended that hair is one of the most important things we can do. I’d tell any young person that the best thing they can do for themselves, in order to be as happenin’ and with it as they can possibly be, is, ya know, just get the coolest hair style you can get.
Anyhow. Here’s my thoughts.
I’ve been watchin’ some of this stuff. On the TV. And I’ve been studying this Romney character, I believe his name is. No, not Romney Character, ha, ha, ha. His name I actually believe is, um, uh …
Milt Romney, yeah. That’s it.
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I mean, after all, what. During the primaries these GOP fellas were fallin’ all over themselves to show that they were more Reagan-like than the others.
And since they were really auditioning for the dipshi base, to prove their Reaganness. Well I was just thinking, that during GOP debates, they ought to be required to all don Reagan wigs. Orangish pompadour wigs.
And we all, ya know, will just kinda check out how they look in them.
It’d help us decide.
Whew, I’m gettin’ whipped. This writin’ shi stuff is hard.
Okay, quickly then. Equal time.
The Dems ought to wear Kennedy hair wigs at their debates. Even like Hilary Clinton if she runs again.
Of course, this isn’t as important as the Reagan wig thing. Because, really, like at least 50% of the Democratic Presidential candidates since 1960 have affected that unique hair style. Hell. it seems like half a Congress there for a while, Repub and Dem, had like Kennedy shellac hair goin’ on there.
Oh. Interesting tidbit. This was such a big deal, that LBJ, briefly, during the ’64 campaign, he affected a JFK do.
Like I said, it didn’t last long, but I remember it. And, Lordy it was …
Well, it was interesting. Of course Johnson was able to have most of the images of this unfortunate hairphernalia decision destroyed. But whew wee. I’m tellin’ ya.
Okay. Anyhow. LIke I said. We got Butch T. Bagger comin’ up to the plate. This was to be his first entry, oh around, like, um, fu, uh, over a year ago. #**@!#!
Okay. Sorry. Blue my cool again. Back to bein’ reconcilatoneful.
I’m sure we’re gonna have a whole lot more great posts from Butch, and Bush Himblow, and from you, Carlton and Steve.
All right then. Here we go. On the road again! Let’s blog away, me mateys.

Okay, Carlton. Okay, Steve. I am serving you all notice. I’m not kidding. I kid you not. Gosh, I miss Jack Paar. Do you guys remember Jack Paar?

Ah, hell. Digressing again.

Anyhow. This is ridiculous. Neither one of you boobs fellas are making entries at all. I thought for sure now that one of you cock … gentlemen would have come up with something hard hitting on hair and spirituality. And another thing, …

Okay. Look. Let me make this short and sweet. Things are gonna change around here. And I mean business. I’m gonna be watching too. So there won’t be this, what; months and months of sluffing off, for freakin’ out loud.

Carlton. Steve. You will be posting regularly. Starting now. And if you don’t. Well, I’m gonna do something. Probably. Pretty sure that I am.

But just in case you think I’m kidding. Well, “Ha.” I say, “Ha.” And, “Ha,” again.

I have invited two new contributors to come on board. And they have assured me that they will be active and vigorous in their contributing.

And, and here’s the interesting part, they are going to be adding balance. So we are on top of things. And current. And stuff.
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First. Back near the beginning of the inception of this blog, there was some brief discussion of this whole tea party, or tea bag, or nut sac, phenomenon.

So, with an eye on that trend, we bring on board a typical, representative, voice of the movement, one Butch T. Bagger.

Also, and this is big news. It really is. We want to give a big ‘Dirks Eye View’ welcome to none other than Bush Himblow.

Yes, the same. The famous, sometimes fairly overweight, right-wing radio commentator. And, as long as we keep sending packages of food and synthetic opiates, I believe his contribution will be enormous, his impact profound.

So. Scro …, er, gentlemen. You’ve been put on notice. You’ve got competition. Get to blog postin’. And I mean pronto. As our two new contributors will be hitting the ground running, and blogging, straight away.

Thanks for your time and attention.

Hmm.

Well. You’re right about one thing there, Steve. Nobody’s been minding the store. And yeah, I’m a little bit irate. I go out on adventure, seeking new age knowledge and wisdom. And I leave things in what I think are good hands.

It’s not entirely your fault. So I don’t want to tee off on you, Steve. I mean, I would expect Carlton to be posting something, and that’s certainly some fish I’m gonna have to fry.

And I know you haven’t had much direction, and you’re pretty knew to the blogging game. And are a verital kneeofight when it comes to new age knowledge and wisdom.

But, um. At that party? You know the one. The one where, I guess I got sort of … The one, where I, um, perhaps unwisely ceded a heck of a lot of control to Carlton?

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So. What the heck’s goin’ on with that? Any tidbits you can regale me with about how I ought to wear my hair, going forward, for maximum spiritual energy and power?

And another thing. What the heck’s with this new name business? ‘Steve Volcano’ for gosh sakes? Look, I gotta say, I don’t think I like it. And it is my blog after all. And another thing.

Oh. Um. Uh. I guess that’s it.

Okay. Look. Get back to me.

Hmmm. Not much doin’ here lately. Or so it seems. I haven’t received any direction from Dirk or Carlton. Well, other than at that drunken party that was sort of alluded to in the last post on here. The party where Dirk hornswoggled Carlton in to staying on here at the blog, as editor and all. And where, yeah, I guess Carlton got the right to write whatever the heck he wanted.

And that hardly qualifies as direction. Actually I don’t …

Hmm. Don’t remember much about the party. Not that I was drunk. I mean .. I hardly …

Anyhow.

I’ve come to a decision.

As you may have gathered, I wasn’t really sure I fit in here, what with Dirk and Carlton being such high powered presences. I felt a little insecure, and really didn’t think I was going to be able to write up to their level.
But, after consideration and reflection, I figured there’d be only one way to get up to speed. And that is to write and be comfortable in my writing. Believe in myself.

Be bold and stuff.

So. Here’s my first act of boldness.

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So. I’m adopting a new, and happening, and powerful name.

Wow. I feel energized already. Almost as much as I did when I first read The Celebes Monkery, Part One, by Dirk Bluefield, available for Kindle at Amazon.

Anyhow.

My new name.

I am now …

Steve Volcano.

My, oh my. I feel powerful just typing it.

Take care people. And stay heavy.

I was like readin’ today. I do that sometimes. And I found out there was a new digital newspaper. Just for the iPad. A lot of people were making a big deal out of it. And I have one of them iPads. So I thought maybe, that I’d give the free trial a shot.

But I had a bad experience. I couldn’t get the damn danged app to download. Probably for the better, as I didn’t really want to support the folks producing the freakin’ thing. Also, it was early, and I’d barely got through a half cup of coffee. And I, well, kind a had a spell.

Here’s what I left in the review section of the iPad App Store. Oh well. We all have our moments I guess:

NO NUDITY IN APPS, BUT THIS IS OKAY?

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Dear Apple. What an incredibly bad idea. Not that this garbage is here, so much as that you are so whole-heartedly part of the roll out.

I think the no porn policy in the app store is laudable. A commitment to the internet being less of a cesspool.

But, hey. This Murdoch character has been mainly a pornographer over the years. That is until he came upon the idea of being a shameless, soulless, lying propagandist. So what’s the deal?

A free marketplace of ideas?

Okay. Sure. I swallow hard, but see some of the sense in letting the Nazis and KKKers speak, if only so it can be clearly seen how incredibly f-ed up and evil they are.

Likewise, here, I guess, with Murdoch and Co., even though in this case we’re talking money-grubbing, power-mad nihilists.

“Say what you will about National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.”

I hope at the very least, though, that Apple will soon be opening up and changing their non-subscription policies, so people actually practicing journalism can get a fair opportunity.

Otherwise, why not just start planning the splashy intro of the new multi-media Satan app?

Geez. What a lousy idea!

Well. It’s that time of year again, isn’t it?

The time when we all reflect and stuff. And look over the year just past. And also we think about the new year, the year just begun, all rapped in swallowding, or whatever, kinda like a baby.

I too am doing that. And, as a person vursed in spiritual new age type matters, I guess I should weigh in for my followers with my thoughts on the neysent newborn year.

So, here it goes.

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What?! Are you sure?! February?? Already?!!

Shit! I mean darn!

Oh well.

Steve? Steve?

Carlton? Carlton?

Well, shoot-crackers.

Um.

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My feeling is that, with all my knowledge and experience, I have to say that, yes, the HAIR/SPIRITUALITY CONNECTION could well be one of the pivotal advancements of this still pretty new century.

Gosh. I get excited just announcing it.

So. Um. Uh. Everybody, uh. Have a good hair day.

Uh. Dirk. Thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate hearing that.

Um. Look. I’m really new at this blogging thing. And gosh. I hardly have any new age knowledge at all. Let alone wisdom. And what little I have, is really barely ” happenin’ ” at all.

Soooh. I think that, at least until I really like learn the ropes here. That maybe I ought to defer on getting involved in any of this.

I mean, I really do appreciate the opportunity to be a part of this, um, uh, amazing enterprise. I’m humbled. Really, I am. And I look forward to learning from masters like you. And Carlton.
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But yeah. I think maybe I’d just better keep plugging away at what I know. And, um. Maybe just leave the high-end, advanced stuff to you all.

Thanks again gotta go bye.